Hey there stranger

Good morning or good evening from wherever you're reading this. For some of you it's a "nice to see you again", and for others it's a "welcome to the blog". This isn't my first rodeo when it comes to blogging (although I am still figuring it out), but this time, I'm hoping to be here a little while longer.

Ever since I stopped my other blog, I have been itching to get back into it. "What happened to your other blog?", you may be thinking. For starters, I couldn't stick to one topic, and so every couple of months, there would be this "new and improved" blog. I wanted to talk about things that were important to me, but also things that would appeal to whoever was reading it. But, no matter how many times I changed the focus, in the end it felt like something that forced rather than something that kept me creative. It didn't feel authentic, and I hated that.

When I was running my blog, some of you knew how hectic my life was at the time. I was in my first year of grad school, commuting to and from the university everyday. I was an army wife, who's spouse more often than not was away for training/deployments. I was trying super hard to maintain a social life with friends and family, instead of working on school all the time. I told myself I was happy, when in reality I was running on empty for a very long time, not taking care of myself but doing everything I could to take care of the people around me.

Things are very different now. I'm approaching 6 months of my divorce. I'm no longer in school and I'm trying to decide if I want to go back. I'm still working like crazy between my multiple jobs, and yet, I feel a happiness that I haven't felt in a long time. For the first time ever, I'm living on my own...well, aside from my sometimes spicy potato of a dog named Winston. I'm working multiple jobs to be able to provide for myself (and Winston, you boujee bugger). My support system has grown tremendously, and I'm doing things I never thought I would.

Now. That isn't to say that from time to time, I don't get those criticizing thoughts about where I am currently in this stage of life. I'll be 27 this year, and every now and then, I feel like I am drastically behind. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I don't know where I see myself a year from now, let alone 5 years from now.

I say all this because up until recently, I stopped saying "no" to myself. I stopped saying no to going out with my friends, saying no to experiences. Saying no to things that make me feel vulnerable or out of my comfort zone because they're unfamiliar to me. Saying no to memories I could make and in 20 years, wish I had.

Saying no to me.

Since I sorta-kinda have my life somewhat together at the moment, I'm no longer saying no, and instead saying yes. Saying yes to doing things, exploring, going on adventures, even if I do them alone. Saying yes to starting this blog over again, even if no one reads it. If anything, I am opening this space back up to chronicle a life full of spontaneous passion, to put myself back out there and be vulnerable. And most importantly, show myself that I can, that I will, and that everything will be okay in the end.

And so, hello again to those of you who have stuck around from the beginning. Hello to those of you who are new. Hello to everyone who is just as curious as I am to see what this blog will become. My hope is to chronicle this new life I am leading where I say yes to myself, and hopefully I can inspire you to do the same. Because you can.

Cheers friends.