The adventure in you

When I thought about doing this trip, there were many thoughts that went through my mind. I thought I was crazy, driving across the US for my first solo trip ever. The first thing I thought was could I really afford this...I am part time at both of my jobs, and so financially, could I not work for a whole month, do this trip, and still be okay. And then if I could, what was my budget going to look like, how much do I set aside for gas and food, etc. Then I was worried about not having cell service and getting lost. I mean, what if something happens along the way... how will I get help or get out of a situation? How far should I drive each day? How will I feel about not being able to talk to anyone back home for hours on end? Where will I sleep?

- Which, side note, when I actually planned the route I was going to be taking, as in what states I would be passing through, that was really it. I found two truck stops to stay at for the first 2 nights, and I knew I would be staying with my brother once I reached WA. But everything else in between those 2 nights and WA was a mystery. I had no idea where I was going to stay; I literally figured that out day 3 into my trip, at a Starbucks in St. Louis MO, where I would be spending the night for the next 4-5 nights -

And although these are all very valid things to worry about, my biggest worry was what would happen if I didn't do the trip. What if I didn't allow myself to experience something that could lead to so much growth. What if I didn't allow myself to get to know myself.

There's a video I saw on social media (specifically Tik Tok) about solo traveling, and it said, " When you explore who are, away from everyone that knows who you are, you are your purest self for the very first time." And for the first time, in a very long time, I questioned myself. Do I stay here, where I'm comfortable and have a routine, or do I become vulnerable, put myself in situations that are unfamiliar, and see what happens.

And so I became vulnerable. I drove almost 8,000 miles by myself, and if I could do it again tomorrow I would. It's funny, because I sometimes feel more alone sitting in my one-bedroom apartment than I did the whole time I was gone. Even though I drove through some sketchy places, even though I have no clue how to change a tire, even though there would be hours where I have no cell service. I'd do it all again to feel how I felt.

I had so many people throughout the whole thing, question me about my trip. Why I was doing it, how I was doing it, and being proud of my for doing it. And I think I've realized now that, as much as I hope to be here for another 50+ years so I can continue to fill my life with as much as I possibly can, all I truly have is the present. That is what's "promised" to us. Right here, right now.

So go on that adventure, whatever that adventure may be. No matter how crazy it sounds, no matter how crazy people think you are. Do it and do it for you. Because in 50+ years from now, you'll only regret that you didn't.